Toxic Positivity: A Complaint

(N.b. Don’t read this if you don’t like irony. If, in ignoring this advice, you feel personally targeted then just know that, yes, you have been, and I love and admire you dearly <3).

Some people really have a nerve. I’m just back from a morning tea on a Sunday, and really, emotionally drained doesn’t even begin to explain my resultant mood.

Look, at the end of the day it is 2024 and if people want to get around smiling at each other before noon, then you won’t see me standing in their way.

That being said, you won’t see me moving out of it either. They keep saying that chivalry is dead, but some people still have the audacity to offer seats in public, allow others in front at the checkout, hold doors (and Heaven forbid elevator doors) open, and don’t even get me started on clearing up after others to make the bin trip more ‘worthwhile.’ Rubbish. Chivalry certainly isn’t dead, and privacy infringement is a more accurate phrase for the manner of being.

Please. A girl needs her space.

On a more serious note, there’s privacy then there’s privacy. “How was your weekend,” or some of my more personal favourites: “How is…[crisis of the month, person in your life they’ve not met but have unhealthy concern for, hobby you mentioned once in passing and their brain snapped hold of unremittingly].”

It’s important to be wary of certain people who develop such a keen and almost obsessive interest in the lives of others. These people, cluey-er than they look don’t miss much, and before you’ve said anything of seeming note, they‘ve developed a structural map of your entire life. Without needing to go into much detail here, it’s as sinister as it sounds. Data breaches are unlikely in this instance, however if you value your independence, don’t tell these people much because most of the time they can’t help but get involved and sort your life out.

A central characteristic of their craft, moreover, is a reluctance to speak or draw any attention toward themselves. This is shifty enough as it is. To add however, they’ll generally make a point of strongly validating the weight of the sufferings which afflict any of those to whom they speak, encouraging them to get things off their chest. Ironically their own lives are usually in utter and incomparable shambles. Maybe it’s empathy. I think it’s emotional gas-lighting.

You never know what people’s real motives are

Either way, it’s very hard to balance sponge cake and tea on a paper plate while also being the subject of an inquest. I’m just glad I didn’t wear my white cargos to Mass.

My final gripe for this afternoon is over-complimenting. How many times in her life does a woman need to be told (and often by the same people) that her hair is”gorge” With some, it feels like every greeting must be followed with congratulations for having stylish radiance unsurpassed by the stars…especially on days when they’re not glammed up in the least.

So is it for want of things to say, or are we really surrounded by Pantene goddesses and we don’t know it?

*grease goddesses more like

To those who cry: ‘women lift each other up,’ I have reason to warn that transposed jealousy may rather be at play here. Others suggest that such expressions of admiration and love, are mere ploys for positive social and professional regard.

What folly to have once believed that sweet words of approval reflected, in truth, the speaker’s desire to spend lavish amounts of their free time with the other, because the good qualities which they saw in them warmed their heart and sparked joy within. And that it was not only their hope to someday become a little more like them, but maybe if they did become real friends they’d have the opportunity to infuse the soul of the other with whatever light they could offer.

…I guess a girl can dream. Either way, sticks and stones break bones, but whoever said names won’t injure us is now incorrect on two separate counts.

…

To those who have been victims of the smiling assassin, my sympathy is yours entirely. Chivalry hasn’t been quashed half as much as is popularly regarded, and much work is left to be done here. Accordingly, human attendance and the need to be seen and understood went out the window when FaceID and predictive text entered our living rooms. Those who think otherwise are simply in denial of progress. Finally, it ought to be noted that the type of people who try to claim that words carry power, are the same types of halfwits who suggest that love might change the world. It goes without saying that the whole world couldn’t contain the books that could be written about the logical inconsistency of this claim.

Independent and winning at #lyfe

Anyway, I hope your Monday is productive and grayscale.

Best wishes,

Joyce <3 xxx