Diaries of a Daydreamer

Looking at the world through rose coloured glasses is sometimes the best you can do. While I certainly can't attribute passed Italian listening exams or practical nursing competencies to forgetting life and disassociating into the clouds, imagining that life offers much more beauty and hope than that offered in the current situation, has always been a source of consolation.

should've gone to specsavers

For those who don't know, disassociation is a maladaptive coping strategy commonly used by those who have experienced any form of trauma (it needn't be hardcore btw). It's the decision of the subconscious to repress memories, ignore physical feelings and sensations and just imagine that we're somewhere altogether a bit nicer. I've always felt daydreaming just sounds a bit cuter and still covers most bases <3

While disassociation can help us get through short term difficulties (there's no harm in pretending we actually didn't send that text), when used at length it can rob us of truly living in the present. Life in its beauty and in it's tragedy has to be experienced for what it is right now. For us to truly flourish and bring the dreams of our deeper hearts into fruition, we need to be present with our feelings and with the world around us.

i can't follow trends but at least i'm nice

You see, it's very nice that my brain is still trying to protect me from things that happened when I was little, but it'd actually be quite handy if I could remember what I wore yesterday so that I don't wear it again for the third time. It'd additionally be quite nice if without pharmaceutical intervention I could access my vocabulary (which I was much too proud of as a child, anyway) and chat to others freely.

PTSD is a highly researched and extremely treatable condition. Depending on its severity treatment options range from different forms of psychotherapy to certain pharmaceuticals (n.b. this is clearly a dodgy website, for credible information please access a legitimately peer reviewed one ~ Amelia can only do what she can). It probably doesn't seem like it, but I'm still at the relative beginning of this process for myself, but one day my brain will believe me when I tell it that I'm safe <3

That being said...I've decided to always be a dreamer anyway (even if space cadet probably suits me better most of the time), and I think everybody else should be too. With feet firmly planted, heads clear and levelled, and hearts truly sentient, when we gaze out over the horizon with wonder and hope, we have a true capacity to create beauty amidst terror with the power of our imaginations (co-authored by M.Mouse, 1932 ;).

#youngwildandADD

Resources that have helped me :D

• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma - Bessel van der Kolk (still reading it lol, but gives a good outline of how negative experiences affect processing and how through retraining our bodies we can retrain our nervous systems and minds). I think it's free on Spotify too xx

• How to ADHD (youtube channel by Jess McCabe) https://www.youtube.com/c/howtoadhd ...PTSD and ADD are conditions which are aetiologically distinct, however their presentations as well as certain accompanying treatments do overlap. Jess originally helped me to identify that many of the things I struggled with were actually part of a syndrome. Sometimes just the knowledge that certain traits aren't a reflection on ourselves (e.g. that we're lazy, have a low IQ, etc.) but the result of a neuro-chemical mis-match, can help too :D